They sound like terrible managers.
If they are unable to evaluate your actual work, the only way they can evaluate you is based on your verbal contributions during a meeting.
As they are clearly unable to coach you, they are probably relying on you to coach the younger workers.
Just realize that each manager is looking for a different set of things. Some managers would be perfectly happy with you quietly writing applications well.
Nobody knows how to be a manager, and while some with encouragement can learn, some people either don't have the inclination or correct temperament.
I personally would never push someone into management or push the person out if that person was happiest as a individual contributor.
The world needs more makers, not more managers.
All the best!
I was a developer for about 11 years before I started in leaderships positions "by force" (in a fast growing startup). For me as a technical person, being a manager is very difficult, there are a lot of subtleties of people interaction got completely lost to me several times... One time I "gave a rise" to a guy and the way I put it he felt I was conditioning the rise to something else... it was subtle and I did not know until after a year later while talking to him.
People relationships are difficult. Then there is the "game" to play as part being part of a company (once you are at the manager/director/vp level, you have to understand that you represent the company to your peers. I have something very interesting happen to me, one week I was a developer, peer of my colleagues, we joked a lot and had a lot of fun interactions at work. Next week I become "director of Engineering", become their boss, and the interaction changed completely (it was not something I did, it literally changed from one day to another).
Now, on the current state of things, I would not search a lot to what the company told you, regarding why they let you go. At a previous startup I was, at some point we had to make cuts, and all the VPs and C levels sat down in a meeting looking at each of our teams, and then each team had to decide to cut 2 people. It was ruthless, and every manager had to explain to the person why they were let go...
The best thing would be, if you had a more friendly relation with your manager, that now, after the fact, you can have a informal call with him and ask him, what do you think you could have done better in general to avoid being affected by the layoffs in your company.
Not everybody is suited to be in a "leadership" position and that is OK. If you prefer solving technical problems rather than people problems, you aren't going to be a good fit for a "leadership" position.
Having said that, you do need to realize that the "glass ceiling" on developer positions tends to be lower than on management (aka. "leadership") positions. There often is lip service saying the "technical ladder" is parallel and equal to the "management ladder", but it isn't in my experience. Fact of life.
Consequently, if you prefer solving technical problems rather than people problems, you will be trading off money for happiness.[1] In my book, that is a trade-off I'm happy to make. In fact, I've deliberately chosen to stay in the technical realm rather than "leadership" realm for 35 years now. Especially early on in my carrier, my managers pushed me towards "leadership" roles and I let them know I was not interested. While I have and will take on a leadership role out of necessity due to circumstances in a project, I've always made a point of reverting to the technical work when the crisis is over.
I have less money but more happiness. That doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me. Sounds like it would work for you.
[1] There are people that enjoy being in a leadership position. "Rands in Repose" https://randsinrepose.com/archives/managing-nerds/ is a good example of that. I'm happy for him and I'm happy for my managers who enjoy being in a leadership position because that means I can focus and satiate my inner nerd.
Without context, it's hard to know the real situation.
I was laid off at the end of February. To make a long story short, the product wasn't selling well and the company had to cut costs.
In my case, my manager gave me a heads up months in advance. If you're still in touch with your manager or people you worked with, try to find out the real story.
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Think about some of the excellent experienced people you learned from early in your career. You now need to be just like them.
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Career-wise, what kind of "leadership" is expected from someone with 15+ years experience? A lead does the most important designs, sets the technical direction, mentors other developers, takes part in bug triages, works on the most difficult parts of a product, and interviews candidates. Sometimes the title of "architect" is used.
You can also be a manager, or a consultant who can get in and get things done.
But, someone with 15+ years of experience isn't just a coder getting a bigger paycheck than someone with 3 years of experience. Your career lessons need to rub off on the younger developers. Otherwise, your large paycheck just turns into a giant target compared to your cheaper peers.
I (among a few others) in my team was laid off this week due to the COVID-19 crisis.
That never happened to me before. I have never once fired, laid-off, or furloughed. And I don't know how to cope with this. The market has gotten very tight since the beginning of the crisis. Usually, my email would explode within hours whenever I make myself available for hire. Now I'm into the third day of my unemployment and still have no prospects, no interviews, no offers.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I was tweeting about how concerned I was about seeing so many developers losing their jobs. I was hoping we'd figure out something, maybe a way to help them. Now I'm looking for a job myself.
Fuck this virus. And fuck those politicians who didn't take it seriously. And fuck those people who still support them.
First and foremost - it's not about you. Millions of people are getting laid off daily now due to the exceptional circumstances.
It's ok to feel down for some time, but it's important to understand the broad picture and not take this personally - regardless of what you were told.
Now, regarding leadership resources, I would recommend to start with the following (in this order):
Moneyball (movie), books: The Goal, The Phoenix Project, The Mythical Man-Month, The Hard Thing About Hard Things, The Culture Code and in-between those - various Simon Sinek videos.
If you read this far, you should be able to continue finding materials on your own from here ;)
Best of luck!
Wtf dude.
Take a breath, everyone is getting laid off. Don't blame yourself, that's a road to hell you don't want to go down right now.
One of the important aspects of leadership is learning how to listen. You said management mentioned in passing that you needed to speak up. People rarely come right out and say things. It tends to be oblique, in passing, casual references. You will have to learn to pick up on those cues, read body language, pay attention to unspoken signs.
I know that leadership can be taught, but I don't think it can be taught while you're not already in a leadership position, or at least a simulation of it, i.e., hands-on classes. Olivia Fox Cabane has a some YouTube videos on Charisma that I think would be good to watch. She's a damn good communicator.
Take responsibility for the actions of the people you lead, do the things you want them to do. Your actions will speak far louder than the words you say: lead by example and all that.
In the same period of time, many many people haven't thought that their jobs were vulnerable. The first time this happens, it's perspective-changing. My expectations were set early on when I was laid off from my first job. There are things I certainly didn't do as they were expecting, but that's not necessarily your problem nor was it mine. They gave me the reason that they didn't need me as a full-time employee and could basically outsource it. That's fine. Since then, I've been fired or laid off for various reasons at least 6 times and might be looking at another coming up soon. What it's taught me is that I always need to bet against having stability, simply because there's no evidence to suggest I'll ever have it. It's also taught me to never put my employer before my well-being, and to bet much more heavily on normal friends rather than anyone I met at the company—because when you go, so do they. After every job loss, it took me at least many many months to find new work and much introspection about how much I care about software engineering or whatever. Just because you were laid off doesn't mean you need to learn to be a better person. It just means you'll be on a break for a while.
Executive leadership is directive, actionable, factual, simple. It's not about taking direction-- at least not overtly-- it's about giving it. You already sound like a great person. Some great people also are leaders and executives but I find as often that is not the case. Great people who learn the executive mindset can be truly extraordinary leaders. They'll ask the question on everyone's mind, and then outline a simple plan to solve it. They will break the ice in a group, rather than wait for it to be broken. They will concede as much of a point as necessary to establish and maintain their credibility. People will trust them not to always be brilliant, but to do the right thing competently and on time.
We all have some work to achieve that kind of stature, but from your question I also sense the people you reported to were not a good fit for what I perceive to be your likely leadership style. Don't take it personally, they dont have all the answers.
Well look, if it was a layoff it probably wasn't personal. It's a reflection on the economic conditions. Granted, you weren't one of the ones chosen to keep, but that should be viewed as: how can you make yourself indispensable? not that you don't bring value.
I don't know you enough to tell you what you need to do, but if you have 15 years of experience: you probably have useful things to share with the less experienced. Most people want to learn, they want mentors, so if that isn't happening maybe a tiny bit of reflection on how to be more welcoming. But man, it's a layoff, don't kick yourself over it.
(Can't stop thinking about this thread)
> In retrospect, higher ups did mention in passing about an year ago about how I need to speak up in meetings etc.
That's a critical point. If you have 15 years experience, even if you don't have a "leadership" title, you are expected to demonstrate some leadership in meetings.
First: In the meeting, you should be able to discuss tradeoffs, explain why certain things are easier, safer, or more dangerous. You should be able to give context and have an opinion. Your opinions need to be fair and unbiased, or you should be able to point out that you're biased towards a particular approach. You're in the meeting for your experience, both career experience, and (if you've been in the job for awhile,) experience with the product(s).
Second, and this is more critical, but harder to do: You need to be able to stop bad meetings. In some cases, this is a matter of just telling someone that their 20 person invite list is too long. In other cases, you need to interrupt people and force them to make their point or move on; or you need to interrupt a meeting to politely excuse half of the people in the room who don't need to be there.
Yes, it's technically management's job to stop bad meetings, but it's also your job too. Stopping bad meetings is everybody's job, but it falls on the most experienced people on a team to lead by setting an example.
Leadership is simple: Be proactive and do the right thing.
That’s it. But being proactive and doing the right thing is often painful and difficult, so people avoid it.
We typically think of leaders as people being at the top of an organizational hierarchy, but everyone in an organization can be a leader according to this definition. Leadership doesn't arise from assuming a role, it arises from using one's role to further the objectives of the organization.
You don’t need books and instructions on how to be a leader. You just need to step up to the plate and have the courage to be one.
Question - Do you never speak up in meetings? Or you only speak up in certain types of meetings with certain types of people?
Some people can be good leaders and speak up in meetings where they are talking about an area they are comfortable in. For example, a senior or lead engineer does an excellent job speaking up and leading in an engineering meeting - but in a room with a bunch of business people they don't really have anything to add so they don't say anything.
I only ask this because it's important to remember context. Sometimes people are in expected to be leaders in a situation that does not fit them. In other situations they can do well. Just something to keep in mind.
As for the layoffs...don't take it personally. If you were a good developer and your management was too short-sighted to realize you might fit better in a different role, that's not your fault.
> I am soul searching for a week now, and finally I got over my anger, disappointment and anxiety and ready to move on.
Why would you be down on yourself? Many many developers at many companies are being laid as many companies are folding and many others are hanging on by their nails. This is the current economy.
I have retained my job only, and I cannot stress this strongly enough, because I am lucky enough to work in an essential industry (banking). That's it. I don't know you, but I would place a hard bet that it has nothing to do with competence, capability, or performance.
> I think I don't know how to be a leader at a workplace.
I figured it out when it was dropped in my lap. My first time to really really own a large team as both a people and business leader was about 5 years ago. I was just some dumb army guy, but withing a short time frame the leaders around me moved on leaving me with 29 people to manage. I was told I did well and received letters of recommendation to pad my warrant office packet. The opportunity just dropped in my lap and I just performed as well as I could.
My actual first time in management, this was military as well and was also not of my choosing, I was 24 years old and I only had two people working directly beneath me, but I had two business units that provided oversight for. In that role I mostly just ran operations. I was the managing technician in charge of operations for the 335th Theater Signal Command and ran all ops for all void and data communications in Iraq, Kuwait, and Afghanistan during the 2004 surge.
I have never made it into management in the corporate world. Perhaps I am just waiting for it drop on me, which likely won't ever happen. The morale of my story is that you don't really know what kind of leader you will be until you are leading. The most important thing I learned about it is that if you take care of your people and ensure the mission always comes before you the people you manage will try harder to make you a success.
I had been coding for about 18 years before I realized almost all of my learnings had come form side projects and work for me was a way to get dissappointed (unless I sacrificed money for interesting work). While I could learn technical things on the side, I realized I could not learn "leadership" on the side so switched to management (a very important "component" of leadership). For me it was the best decision. Still slapping myself for not having done this 10 years earlier as soon I felt like I wasnt really learning much technically as an engineer that I couldnt on my own.
DM me. If I can do it, anybody can (I definitely still have a long way to go though but happy to share learnings and surprises).
OP, a quick comment as I think many replies you are receiving are missing the forest for the trees.
We do not live in a meritocracy. For better or for worse, your "job performance" does not have a one-to-one relationship with how well you perform at your job.
Your "job performance" is based on how you are perceived by those reviewing you. If you have a disconnect between your work and how you are perceived, you probably need to improve how you market and present yourself. Consider this as just another part of investing in yourself.
Translating back into developer-centric jargon: the best technical solution isn't automatically the best. You need good marketing and product-market fit.
I've had similar experience as you in a previous job. No matter what, I couldn't get people to listen to my ideas, and it actually felt like I wasn't part of the in-group (similar to certain high school experiences).
My solution took a few things. First, like you, I was part of a layoff. I eventually came to realize that the company culture was a big part of it, as I really didn't have that issue at previous employers (although I wasn't in, or expect to be in, a leadership position at that point in my career).
Secondly, I had to shake off imposter syndrome. Part of the feeling was that I was constantly working with newer technologies, and therefore always felt like a beginner. So I took a step back, and went for a position that was purely Linux based. Then, I approached the position as if I was a consultant who's job was to go in, identify trouble spots, and provide solutions. Getting into that mindset helped immensely, and combined with shaking the impostor syndrome feeling, allowed me to nail the interview.
Finally the last part was taking ownership over several key areas, things that I identified as having lacking skills in the organization that I could fill in for. This involved lots of cross training -- initially one on one, then building up to group training sessions (effectively meeting where I was the leader). That, combined with working with other key individuals in the organization helped me to understand what problems they needed solving, and from there delivering on those solutions (and not just writing code -- but starting off with the base documentation, such as functional requirements documents, system design documents, risk assessments, making pretty infographs, elevator pitches, the works).
Oh, and being the go to resource when other team members run into issues helped to build up a reputation that brings with it respect from various levels of the company.
Here's an idea -- many C-suite execs have customers that they handle personally -- these are long term customers that the particular exec handled from early on in the company. Find one, that has a nagging problem that you can solve. Make them happy, they tell the C-suite about how pleased they were to work with you, and you have a high level person that will go to bat for you in the future. Just make sure that you never screw up that customer.
So sorry to hear you lost your job, it's pretty traumatic, going from working every day, dead lines, things that important to suddenly, none of that's important and not your problem. Personally I've found it jarring the few times it's happened to me, and it's really hard.
So a few thoughts:
1. Were you the only one laid-off or was a portion of the org?
2. 3.3 million people in the US filed for first time unemployment last week, and it'll surely be similar this week.
A couple of weeks ago I got asked "what if we need to cut engineering staff?" And we ran the numbers. Of course the first thing I did was push back, we won't be able to hire them back, it's an amazing team of dedicated engineers, if the bad times are 4 weeks this will gut our skill set, at this level what managers are left, do we need any? Certainly don't need me. Thankfully we found a way through without cutting engineering staff.
It's pretty dreadful on the engineering management side, though not as devastating. I never want to let any of my team go, but I can't be a petulant child either. :(
How we pick people...sometimes it's seniority, or experience with the product/team/etc. Sometimes you just have to reduce to meet burn rates.
I don't want to recommend any 1 leadership book. But leadership comes in big L and small l versions. Technical leadership is important, and something I would expect out of any team member with 15 years experience. Much of the literature focuses on how to be a big L people leader, but if you want to stay technical ferret through all the books and find a book focused on how to be a technical leader/architect/etc.
After reading these posts of people being laid off after 10+ years and having a hard time coping with it, I’m kinda glad I was laid off less than a year into my first job when there wasn’t even a crisis.
To OP, layoffs are very common now and know that more will come soon because of COVID, it’s not within your control and doesn’t make you a bad developer, companies need to make cuts at times like this to keep afloat, you don’t need to blame yourself.
Take a deep breath, it may take more than a week to recover and don’t be hard on yourself. I’d find it hard to believe that you’ve truly overcame all the stages of grief in just a week, when I was laid off the first week I was still going through denial, and was trying to find a new job ASAP to prove myself. By the look of your post chances are you’re still in denial too. You have 15 years of exp under your belt, give it time to think about where you’d like to go and what you’d like to be doing in your next role, it will come to you sooner or later.
> "I believe I was expected to perform as a leader on top of solving problems, writing applications and my lack of leadership skills made me not worth my paycheck. In retrospect, higher ups did mention in passing about an year ago about how I need to speak up in meetings etc."
I think this needs to be resolved across industry. The so-called "leadership" should learn that not all fingers are equal but every finger has use and value. Similary not every employee can be a leader and extrovert. It is the leadership's responsibility to identify and make use of "silent souls" on a team to greater effect. In my career I have seen people who are introverts to be very capable when given a right environment; in fact they exceed others on the team. Forcing people to be what they are not is not a good leadership practice.
Three books that you should read, and why they will help you at this point:
1. High Output Management, Andy Grove - Explains management from first principles in a very engineering mindset. You'll understand the value of meetings, one-on-one's and so on.
2. Mastering the Rockefeller Habits, Verne Harnish - Explains the structure of a business, and the priorities and trade-offs of rapid growth. A bit more holistic and pragmatic than #1, and assumes you're stepping up into new roles and responsibilities relatively frequently
3. Critical Conversations, Grenny/Switzler - Talks about the need for (and differences between) discussion/conflict/control/coordination in communication in an org. Reading this should help you recognise when and how to speak up.
These are more management than leadership, but I found that a strong basis in management made it easier for me to step into leadership when necessary - I knew the why/what/how of the technical and organisational sides of the matter, and built trust and respect on that competence/understanding.
Ping me by DM if you want more customised recommendations - There's books like Pat Lencioni's '7 dysfunctions of a team' which are excellent for helping you recognise and address the most obvious flaws in a team, and it's a great starting point for becoming a good leader.
I'd also recommend things like therapy or the Landmark Forum as a way of working through your feelings about leadership and the way you relate to people. Leading people will bring out a bunch of positive and negative stereotypes in you and the people around you, and I don't think there's a better way than doing the emotional labour of recognising and working through those issues - you start getting into territoriality and survival-mode mechanisms when you are in charge of teams, and so much of it is kept below conscious awareness because the emotions involved tend to be overwhelming and imprinted at a very young age.
Trying to answer the actual question. I have seen leaders/managers any style. You do not have to be big mouthed or particularly assertive, although in some organizations that may be more or less expected from a manager.
What I think is required though is the ability to handle gracefully unmotivated or deceptive people, blatant liars, tired ones or those who have personal problems. At the other end of the spectrum, you have to keep a relevant distance from those you may admire, or even be attracted to.
As for planning, you will have to handle a number of events that are out of your control but still affect your project.
Personally I can do none of these. I am way too sensitive. And I still am a developer. I think there is easily work for 20 years as a developer, but then a number of specialties will face increased automation.
That's just BS. Nothing about being a developer today has anything resembling leadership role. If that were true, developers would be coached, that never happens. They would decide what to build themselves, they do not. Others decide what, when and how to build everything, using backlog, scrum and sprints. You would have a say over how things should progress, odds are if you're too focused in coding, your head is in a totally different place.
There are options though. If you're happy just being a coder, you'll probably have to accept all of the above and a not high paycheck to boot. You get job satisfaction, and maybe the right place won't have an axe hanging over your head.
Getting into other roles, will require you to focus elsewhere. If your job is coding, you need to stop coding for a while. Find out how you can get others to do your work, coach them, while also working to elevate the tech stack, take risks that pays off, test new stuff. This requires to go beyond regular paycheck, study stuff all the time etc. You might become Tech Lead, but only if you become useful to others across the board. Not about you anymore, but best not to stop coding to keep fresh.
Architect? That could be a next step, chill.
I'm sorry to say that there are not so many realistic career paths on the dev track, but switching to IT, brings lots of opportunity - both as generalist or as specialist with higher pay. You will learn to stand on your own feet in BS. It'll be hard to impossible to keep current coding wise. Though, there are much more opportunity to rise to be a natural leader than to be an introvert dev staring into monitor all day.
Too bad this is all there is in current systemic conditions. Probably no leader is vested in you, interested or knowledgeable / connected enough to mentor you to put you on the right track. Lots is either natural knack and/or pure dumb luck. What always helps is knowing the right people and working hard to expand skills and value to others. Same as with being born by the right parents, being taught by a true teacher or working for a wise natural leader.
> mention in passing about an year ago about how I need to speak up in meetings [...] I think I don't know how to be a leader at a workplace
It sounds like at the very least your boss doesn't know how to be a leader in the workplace either: if you have a shortcoming which is impacting the way you are perceived by your leadership team, or your job performance, then it is incumbent on leadership to:
1/ Help you understand the deficiency and determine whether it's real, or optical (for example: "I see John coming in late all the time! That guy is really lazy!" vs. "Wow, John comes in late and leaves early but he's SO productive when he's here!")
2/ Provide you with clear practical steps you can take to improve, and what the impact of you improving will be (on you, on the business)
3/ A clear expectation on what the consequences will be if you do not improve (is it just "you're gonna be a midweight forever dude", or "the skills you lack are vital for this job").
Most people have a cap on where their natural intuition and instinct can take them as leaders. Going beyond that requires coaching, mentoring, and training. If you were hired into a leadership role but can't lead, then it's a deficiency of their hiring process. If you were hired as an individual contributor (IC) and are being expected to lead, then you need coaching.
Do not accept the part of your brain which is telling you that this is on you. If you were fired because you can't lead then that's terrible leadership in and of itself.
Find somewhere with a strong engineering culture and great leadership. Be open that you are worried about being stuck in Individual Contributor land forever and that as part of your development, you want to receive coaching from a leader who can help you adopt a leadership mindset. Make it clear this is not about promotions, titles, or pay grades: you want to understand leadership and have regular conversations with someone who is leading.
You do not need to be humbled.
My company just had a lay-off. Lots of good people gone not because they did anything but because the market we are in tanked. Went from a we are going to crush it this year and hiring like crazy to WTF in a matter of weeks. I feel extremely bad for everyone that got laid off. Bad time to lose your job.
Since everyone was working at home there were no goodbyes or good luck. I had people on my team I realized I didn’t even have their cell phone number to check in on them.
Feel for you. Don’t beat yourself up. Find best thing you can and work to prep yourself for the next thing.
A good leader is connecting people to the right mentors; going to bat to help someone's good idea come true; recognizing natural areas of expertise for contributors to develop their skills in; identifying, predicting, and preventing bottlenecks in the process; and making sure information flows smoothly into, out of, and within the team. Think about what the people on your team need and what little strings you can pull to make their lives easier and help them to feel more productive, fulfilled, and impactful.
Protip (for when the jobs situation improves): change jobs every 2 years or so. That way people won't have any preconceived (and largely incorrect) notions about you. It's useful to start from a fresh sheet of paper from time to time. It also helps with getting better pay, since you can't be treated as a piece of furniture and you always get market rate, which tends to go up over time. Or at least it did for the past 2 decades.
Start with managing people and expectations outside of your team.
1. Speak up. Not everyone understands the problem like you do.
2. When you speak, start from the reason why something needs to be done. People reason better forwards, from the "why" to the "what". Don't go straight to the "what" unless you are 100% sure everyone is already on the same page.
3. Be prepared to learn from different types of people. The people who are good orators.
We all wish you best of luck.
Don’t change anything now. I’m not saying « don’t change », but I’m saying emergencies are a bad time to evolve on character traits, particularly because you may be believing an excuse that they used to fire you, when in fact you were just redundant or your boss arrived late at the meeting where they decided of the people to fire.
Secondly, I once asked your question and a friend answered that most managers land their position by necessity for the company. They were here when the team grew. Or created their company, so they had to manage it. Most managers just deal with what is happening. Most people don’t know what they are doing, or why they have been selected. Sometimes there is no rationale. So don’t sweat it too much, because being relaxed and easy to manage plays a good part in career success.
For me it was much easier to be a manager than be an employee, because as an employee you are expected to compete and establish your presence (such as speaking up in meetings); As a manager you have entirely different incentives, it was way more intuitive for me.
First off, this is about the world taking a downturn than your performance. Rather than focusing on traditional leadership, focus more on listening and teaching. The higher ups usually want someone who actively listens, asks good/productive questions, and is able to teach the younger team members how to execute and avoid the mistakes you've learned over 15+ years.
I have similar problems like OP. Lack of leadership has been a problem with me both at home and at work. When I get the change to be a leader, I chicken out and don't tell my juniors what needs to be done because I feel I am not worthy of being a leader. All the thoughts of my own failure come rushing to my mind I feel that I am not qualified to be a leader. One day the director told me that I don't have it in me. I felt so bad. I have a colleague who is really good at talking even though he is technically less qualified than me. When there is an issue he is able to talk and stand his ground. I on the other hand can't handle issues and feel very anxious. I don't know how to overcome this. Like the OP said, if someone can suggest a book it will be great. I have over 20 years of experience and still am a contributor and not a team lead or manager. I have also had depression and two instances of severe anxiety attacks for which I received medication.
First, figure out what you want for yourself. Are you even interested in a leadership position? If not, all working at it is likely to do is make you miserable. In that case, you'll probably need to adjust your compensation target down a bit because as you become more senior in pay, there is often an expectation of some form of leadership traits to go along with it. Many companies won't financially reward technical excellence alone.
If you're interested in a leadership role but just don't know how to go about it, you need to decide what kind of leadership role are you interested in. The technical aspects of the project? Leading a team? Moving into management? Something else? (people on the business side will almost always try to guide you to managing people since that's usually the most commonly accepted/rewarded career track... but it's not for everyone) Once you know that, then you can go about developing the needed skills.
Instead of guessing or mind-reading, I encourage you to ask your former co-workers (peers and supervisors) directly for concrete examples where you didn't perform or suggestions for areas to improve on.
Reality testing is critical. Ask them out to lunch or coffee and frame it as seeking their thoughts as a means to improvement, not bitterness about the divorce.
It seems like you are doing your best to improve yourself here, which is great. I wonder, however, if your skills are the problem? We are in an unprecedented economic situation, and I can't comment on the stability of the company you were laid off from.
There are a few comments in this thread agreeing with your self-assessment that a person with your experience should have leadership capability. You probably should. That said, you don't know that is why you were let go. It may just be why you hadn't been promoted. A few of the places I have worked have been happy to let people hang out as senior engineers indefinitely.
If I were you, I would reach out to your former managers and coworkers to see if they have any feedback they can give you. You would be especially well served by reaching out to a manager at a company that _didn't_ let you go. Do you have a boss you are still in contact with from a job you left voluntarily?
Lots of people are getting laid off, I've only 2 years experience, and was laid off a week ago today, I was told it was a necessary downsize, because the company had suddenly stopped selling as much, I've been applying for other jobs, but because I've got savings, I can survive even if I don't find anything for a few months, just like you, I'm taking this time to fill gaps in my skillset, learn new things, and focus on my university courses
also, getting laid off and getting fired are different, lay offs are usually a financial thing, it's not about your skills, you weren't in the wrong, they're trying to minimize how much they spend (including how much they pay employees) so you could probably get a recommendation from your former employer
stay strong
Sorry to hear that, but it looks like you're taking this as a growth opportunity. It seems like your management failed you somewhat - management is not easily learned from books, much better to have mentors and people modeling the behavior expected in a role like that.
Before you start down this road, I'd ask yourself if you want to be a manager. You can lead, based on your experience, but that doesn't mean you need to have people reporting directly to you. I was a manager in an IT group, and while everyone liked me (I'm a likable guy!) I wasn't particularly good at the managing part. It made me miserable to not be good at my job and I'm much happier consulting/contracting now.
Sorry to hear that, I have been in your position in the past, I know how it feels. Learn charisma, learn social dynamics, learn how to communicate with people properly. It makes a huge difference. And it is a learnable, like coding or riding a bike. There are many great books, you can start with this classic https://www.vitalsmarts.com/resource/crucial-conversations-b.... Let me know if you need more info.
I think as soon as you remove yourself from the equation it becomes a lot easier to know how to "be a leader" IMO.
Some people take offense when others seem to be "encroaching" on their territory.
When looking at a problem and a room of people trying to address that problem draw the line between the ROOM and the PROBLEM. A lot of times the way people speak about or address things is by first drawing a line between the people in the room, and then draw another line between the room and the problem.
There is no actual urgent need for software engineer to be more "leaderish". It is totally okay just to do your individual contribution, build expertise, give good task estimations, solve problems, things like this.
I beleive it is a better idea to get strait feedback from your manager about actual cause of your discharge. Maybe you are just plain wrong about it.
I wouldn't try to micro analyze the reasons for your layoff. The "speak up in meetings" critique is a standard go-to for performance reviews. It basically means you are doing pretty good and they just need some filler for the critique section.
This is a time of troubles. People of all personality types are getting laid off.
It seems you still don't know exact reasons why you were laid off. Did your managers tell the exact reason during your lay off interview? Maybe it's just bad luck with current situation. Did your managers tell you about lack of leadership problem at any time during your reviews and one on ones?
If you need help with your resume, feel free to ping me. I'm a dev now, used to be a recruiter, and am pretty good at landing interview opportunities myself.
Also, if you need practice with interview questions, I liked Elements of Programming Interviews in Python: The Insiders' Guide.
Just remember they're people too and not infallible. You might have the most inspiring leader or technical expert but when they're in a meeting with their superiors then they're totally different. They sounds almost like you might. Don't be intimidated.
there is no real context here, but
Leader != "I need to speak up in meetings"
The problem here might be more general, not communicating enough. You might be technically competent but there's a problem when the level of communication isn't high enough. Countless problems (an unnecessary development) can be avoided through high bandwidth communication. Even when it might be unjustified, if people feel like people aren't communicating, then they wonder if perhaps problems are getting created that could be avoided simply because that person isn't speaking up. It leads to frustration. This may not be applicable to your situation, but I thought I'd throw that out there
Become an expert in what you do, care about others, work to convey your principles and values to them, excite them through the technical decisions you made or will make and inspire them through your vision. Be the person that sees through the cloud.
Did anyone give you a reason why you were being laid off? If they gave you a reason, then how truthful would you consider it to be thinking about it now, given that you're not angry, disappointed or anxious anymore?
Be A leader
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to people mistakes indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Let the other person save face. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Thanks to Dale Carnegie. "How to win Friends & Influence People"
>So I come here being humbled
Humility is something many never get an opportunity to learn. But at the end of the day humility does not pay the bills.
Read or listen to Enders Game, by Orson Card.
Right there with you buddy.
Oddly enough I have an education in emergency medicine and can't seem to find work...
The truth is that good talented people lose thier job. Don't lose faith in yourself.
AEAB (all employers are bastards)
I can give you one tip.
--Over a period of many years I found out that you can't please everyone and you can't be everybody's friend. So don't be afraid to speak up. Get informed, make a decision and speak up. You may be right or you may be wrong but follow thru and lead by example.
Think about this and act on it.
Read "High Output Management" by Andy Grove. If you learn to do 20% of what's in that small book you'll be ahead of 80% of so called "managers".
For leadership, read "Good Strategy, Bad Strategy".
trial & error >> book knowledge on this topic, IMO. Get your reps in: - start a business - teach a live online coding course
don't sweat it, just leetcode bro
I know this is going to sound like a stupid question, but how tall are you? How healthy (e.g. weight, posture, etc.) do you look. Do people consider you good looking?
Sadly, your physical presence makes a difference in how others start perceiving you and will probably dictate what approach you take to establish yourself. A lot of self-help leadership books seem to be written by guys who are at or over 6ft tall.
It doesn't mean you cannot be perceived as good leader without a leading man presence, but you do have to work at it differently. Advice for a classically dashing 6'2" guys often doesn't work for 5'4" women. You need to impress the people making that decisions and they often have the look. It sucks, but we cannot see other people's souls. Sorry for your loss, it sucks and is a bummer but don't let it break you, its just their opinion and probably isn't close to the truth.
Unfortunately a lot of the comments are mixing together leadership with management. These are not the same thing. Some of the best technical leaders I have had the pleasure to work with were not managers.
As a developer gets older and has more experience they are definitely expected to show leadership skills. While this can look different for everybody, usually it looks like some combination of:
1. Ability to mentor others 2. Ability to be the "expert" on the team. A go to developer for design and architecture advice 3. Ability to be the liaison with other development teams, product management, or sometimes upper management
Unfortunately it is rare that you can be an experienced develop er and not be expected to show leadership in these areas, along with your development work.