Many years ago I read an article (which I can't seem to find) that had the following key points:
- Very smart guy
- Had some kind of blood circulatory issue so reduced oxygen to the brain
- BUT was a very active cyclist so has very good cardio
- due to both of the above, he was getting enough O2 to be functional but effectively had a lower IQ
- circulatory issue was eventually identified and then corrected
His comments (paraphrased):
"Being less smart was kind of a blessing. Instead of getting frustrated when things weren't working when there were obvious solutions, my attitude changed to just accepting things.
As soon as my circulatory issues where resolved, I went right back to being frustrated."
She and her family were hit by a wrong way truck probably going 70 mph. It completely shattered their bodies, lives and shows how precious our moments are.
This almost feels personal to me because of how well written her account is. I’ve had terrible chronic migraines for as long as i can remember. Apparently they can be associated with brain lesions, too. I’ll clearly never know how they’ve impacted my personality.
What a well-written story. I don't have much to add, but I can say her humour or writing talent seems to be quite sharp for someone that feels she has not completely regained her mental faculties.
Also the joke about opening a spa where she whacks stressed people with a bat so they find respite from our busy world: we already do that ourselves when we reach mental burnout. I did, and in some ways, I feel that years later, my mental sharpness is still not what it used to be. Perhaps burnout is as traumatic to the brain as a massive brain injury; certainly takes as long to heal from.
The title says “the quiet mind”. This seems to allude to the temporary cessation of the discursive mind in (Buddhist) meditation.
> When we return to New York I take the subway to doctor appointments. I don’t take out my phone, I just sit. My brain is quiet, which I find suspicious, but also soothing. Before the accident I went to yoga retreats and tried meditation. I said things like “I just need to unplug.” Apparently what I needed was to get hit by a truck. Perhaps I have discovered the secret to a peaceful mind, and it is traumatic brain injury. I fantasize about opening an expensive spa where busy people pay me money to whack them on the head with a baseball bat.
Levity aside, I’ve never seen a master meditator discuss “quieting the mind” as a downside.
For some reason I found this line particularly funny and poignant:
"But did you know that you can eat whole grains and still get hit by a truck?"
I had a "moderate" TBI while in the military, and I'm actually dealing with a migraine today.
I am absolutely less smart (however you want to phrase that) on the days I have a migraine. I can't quantify it, but I can say that on normal days I can do advanced math, etc. and on migraine days I just... can't understand it. It's like it just doesn't "click".
It's fascinating and gives me profound empathy for those who don't have the mental faculties I do (on my good days).
That reads as somebody experiencing PTSD in addition to the injury. The "am I me" and new perspective on work and life happens as a consequence of life altering tragedy.
So much of this article resonates with me. Fortunately ours was not as horrific. Last year, my family was in a car crash while stopped at a stop sign. Someone from the crossing road veered off directly into my driver's side without slowing, about 40 mph. My pregnant wife and two year old daughter were in the back seat. My wife sustained a concussion and extreme anxiety about the condition of our unborn child for the remainder of the pregnancy. My nose was broken and face scarred. My daughter was physically unharmed.
Everything she says about feeling like its important to tell people that you did nothing wrong, that it wasn't an 'accident' (oopsie, I almost killed your entire family!), that somehow you have to just keep on living your same life again and driving like this couldn't happen any minute ever again - I feel in my bones and don't think I will every be comfortable on the road or around cars ever again.
The person that hit us fled and was not pursued or found. Sometimes I wonder if they ever get curious about what happened to us. Also, turns out uninsured motorist coverage only applies if you can prove they didn't have insurance, hah.
This is a really interesting account. One thing I found myself wondering was how much is the shift in her caused by the TBI, and how much by the assertion that she and her family are mortal?
This sounds like an head-on collision that happened on a high speed rural two-lane road with an impatient driver thinking they could complete a tight pass in time. I absolutely hate these roads, for this reason.
Perspective granted. A good reminder of how often I take basic cognitive function for granted and a reminder that we’re entirely dependent on this system our existence is wired into.
Long time ago I had a concussion resulting from a skiing accident. It wasn't immediately apparent, but it was severe enough that I lost my job and spent ten months on unemployment. For the worst of it I was stupid, I couldn't be funny, and I was overall greatly diminished as a person. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as concussions can get, and it faded with time.
This type of injury terrifies me though, and from what I read about the long-term effects of Covid, I can't believe people are just going along with it as if it was a common cold. To lose my mental faculties, long-term, is prospect beyond depressing.
Any updates on how she’s been going?
Interesting that even in the middle of recovering, she was still such a strong writer. There are a few really excellent turns of phrase and gut punches in a pretty short article.
Is there a follow-up?
My mom always used to say "if you want to be happy, get a lobotomy"
Paywalled, who’s got some snaps on the petro?
[dead]
Amazing recount.
I was fortunate to learn in 2018, at a relatively young age, that my mental faculties are the most precious thing I have in life (after my wife ofcourse). It was a very simple accident; chasing a high I let my bike get too fast going downhill on a wet road, a car on the other side was oncoming, I break, the back wheel slips out from under me, I hit my head on the road (with a helmet on). A bruised knee, elbow and shoulder, bit of pain, no damage to the bike, so I get up and continue. 15 minutes later I get home, a sharp migraine sets in, and suddenly, I realize, I can't remember how I got home. In fact, I can't remember most of last week. Luckily an MRI, an OK from a doctor and a couple of weeks later my memory returns and I'm no worse for the wear.
In that moment, when I realized I couldn't recall how I got home, the worst panic I have ever had set in. I've had two close calls with drowning and was in a car crash in the past, and have never felt the panic I had felt in that moment, just sitting comfortably at home, realizing my brain no longer works. I wasn't scared I had a brain bleed or something and would die, I was scared I would lose my mental faculties.
Since then my outlook on life has taken a complete turn. I've become a lot more cognizant of how I spend my time and what issues I engage with mentally.
What we have is precious, it can dissapear in a second, on an otherwise perfect day.