Please provide some specific examples.
I would consider myself fairly critical and I don't have your problem. Mostly because I can understand different needs, interests, and contexts. For example, I usually don't hold small talk to the same standard as technical discussions. If a friend or SO says something I perceive as "patently false", does it bother me? Depends on the context of the discussion. I allow people to express themselves. Is that open mindedness? Not really.
Most people, or at least the ones I interact with, really aren't as unintelligent as you describe in this post.
I don't really understand the problem. First, I think it's risky to even begin to evaluate whether the people you interact with are more or less intelligent than you. Intelligence is context-dependent. Most of the people you think of as less intelligent probably have a context where they're smarter than you.
"Don't compare yourself to others, for it will make you both vain and bitter; there will always be someone worse, and always be someone better."
Second, what does it matter? When people say things to me that I consider dumb (that can happen both from people less intelligent than me and more intelligent than me), it's rare that I actually need to correct them. Get a sense of when it matters and when it doesn't, and if it doesn't then just let it go.
I am not so judgemental to assume that I am more intelligent than other people.
I may have a masters degree in Psychotherapy and an IQ of 126 but I consider all human beings equally intelligent.
I can talk psychotherapy all day long and appear to be intelligent but I am not.
I consider my intelligence to be solely attributed to the amount of books I have read and that goes for all professions.
The average man uses 1500 words to tranverse life, that is all he needs. We all learn another 1500 words that are directly associated with our individual professions.
Just because I know all the names of the psychoanalytic defence mechanisms and the man down the street does not, that does not make me more intelligent that him.
He for instance maybe a gardener and be able to name every tree in the UK whereas I could not.
Intelligence is not just about how much brain power we appear to have.
I consider a simple footballer to be intelligent becauase of his spacial awareness, hand to eye coordination and athletic skills etc. He may not have a degree but he sure is intelligent.
It is easy to stroke our own ego's when we were fortuante enough to be able to study to a higher educational level. Thats all it is, ego stroking!
"Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." ― Bill Nye
First issue - outside of "my IQ is..." bragging rights, intelligence is multi-dimensional. If not fractal. The IQ-ish dimensions are usually overrated - especially by folks for whom that's their strong suit, and by the young. Vs. the emotional maturity, big pictures, and wisdom-ish dimensions are really seldom understood, let alone mastered, until your later years.
There are some old proverbs about the wisdom and (un-)benefits of winning arguments with your wife. Beyond your need to be right about things, how much skin do you & yours have in the game on things that she's "wrong" about? If it's "homeopathy would be better than vaccines for our baby"-class stuff, that's probably worth arguing. Vs. she doesn't understand e=mc^2, or believes most politicians are well-intentioned, or knowns that your favorite football team isn't worth watching? Those really aren't worth fighting over.
I have a water pistol on my desk. Anyone wasting my time or energy for no great reason gets a squirt.
I've been a musician since I was a kid, so I've always had alternative ways of socializing by being in bands and doing various things that are not intellectual at all.
How do you deal with being more intelligent than the general population?
Let us handle that. You go on following our orders.
Although I don't know my IQ, and don't care, I'm certain that I'm solidly in the "general population."
This helps me, and it may help you. Virtually nothing you or I say or do matters. It's bullshit, signifying nothing, all the way down.
So just enjoy whatever it is you do.
I used to think exactly like this. I'll tell you what helped me.
1. Remember that you also say or believe wrong things quite often. Do people regularly get upset about it and call you out? Or do they give you grace because they care about you whether you're factually right or wrong? You'll be much happier if you learn some intellectual humility. Even the smartest people aren't right all the time (or even 90% of it).
2. Go to therapy. Learn how to practice intellectual flexibility, graciousness, and humility. Find out if you might have OCPD or be on the autism spectrum (not saying you come across that way, but it's worth discussing). It sounds like you, your wife, or both would be miserable with you constantly looking down on her and being irritated. She certainly deserves better than that.
3. Ask yourself whether you'd rather be right all the time or you'd rather have healthy, fulfilling relationships. You generally can't have both.
I am (much) smarter than the average person and almost never feel the urge to call someone stupid anymore or correct them when they're wrong. Most people are much smarter than you think because you're judging them on a scale you've put yourself at the top of.